Cubs Canon 2017

by Danny Rockett

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1.
(Intro) G-em-C-am (Verse) G-em-C-am 2x I’m going back to Wrigley with a ticket in my hand. No ring upon my finger because I am just a fan. G-C G-am And I spent most my money on sausages and beer G- em- D And I was there when they won it last year. (Verse 2) Pressured anticipation had the city tightly wrought With a 5-3 combination as the sailing ball was caught Half a dozen generations who had lived to see the day The Cubs would take the season all the way (Chorus 1) E----C----E7 2x We’re coming back to Wrigley We’re coming back to Wrigley E- C Where the ivy will start growin G- am D And the April winds are blowing out today (Verse 3) The conquerors in triumph bring the foreign trophy home Like old Caesar on the Appian way back in Ancient Rome While the cities of the vanquished have to turn around and look As history’s inscribed into the books (Chorus 2) We’re coming back to Wrigley We’re coming back to Wrigley They’ll be no talk of losing As the bleacher bums are boozing by the flags (Verse 3) We’ll pay more for the peanuts, we’ll pay more for the beer We’re paying for the players that can win another year. If that’s the cost of winning. The Cubs can take it all. Just keep on having fun and playing ball (Chorus 3) We’re coming back to Wrigley We’re coming back to Wrigley (E--C----G-----am) Yeah we’re all a little tougher So let’s just go win another one Yeah we’re all a little tougher So let’s just go win another one Yeah we’re all a little tougher So let’s just go win another one Yeah we’re all a little tougher So let’s just go win another one (We’re Coming Back to Wrigley)
2.
Carl! Carl Edwards Jr.! His pitching is great and he’s coming to the plate. I’m singing Carl Edwards Jr.! Amazing on the mound gonna watch him bat now When Joe doesn’t trust the bullpen he’ll keep in CEJ Send Carl Edwards into bat and let him swing away. He’ll be up there pretending he can hit em like Mike Trout Then he’ll pitch another inning and strike everybody out! Carl Edwards Jr.! Got No body fat, He’s thinner than the bat. Carl! Carl Edwards Jr.! He’s Pitching 2 innings. Just get up there and Swing! Just get up there and swing!
3.
The Cubbies are playing, get back in the crowd We’ll repeat in 2017 Leaving Chicago Going to Phoenix Wanna be at the park out sitting in the sun It’s pitchers and catchers and the winter is done. It’s the first one since we won the Championship I say yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah Spring Training is about to start Grab your pencils and your score card I’m going to a game instead of to a bar Spring Training is about to start I’m getting in a Kia and I’m leaving this town Baseball is all I’m gonna do now Yeah out with the fans drinking a cold beer Forget about ice forget about snow Catch a ballgame in the sun.. with me and Rizzo You know we’re gonna win like a year ago , yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Spring Training is about to start I’ll see Koji Uehara I’m going to a game instead of to a bar Spring Training is about to start Oh, I’m rooting for the Cubbies, I’m wearing Cubbie Blue I’m rooting for the Cubbies, I’m wearing Cubbie Blue I’m getting in the car, to spend my afternoons Watching Schwarber go yard, Addison Russell too Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Spring Training is about to start Pumping life in my Cubs Blue heart I’m going to a game instead of to a bar Spring Training is about to start Yeah,Spring Training is about to start Ooh Baseball season starts Ooh Baseball season starts
4.
Heyward’s been rolling out to second base Seems like he did it all year Or he gets under and hits a pop fly At least his speeches are great But Heyward has found A new swing and he says I can hit! Time to put on a show! I’ve straightened my bat and I’ve opened my stance It’ll quicken my hands through the zone...it’s Heyward’s new swing, better speed Heyward’s new swing, he’ll succeed! Brett Taylor said Jay Hey looks like Rizzo From the way that he’s holding his hands Moving more freely, rotating his hips with the swing It’s in on the fists he can pull Down the line Cause he’s Better at shifting his weight Heyward won’t roll out to second anymore Which would really be freaking great Heyward’s new swing, better speed Heyward’s new swing, he’ll succeed!
5.
Oh yeah Grampa! Grampa’s getting down Having fun. Dancing with Stars now. Dance shoes, replacing his Cubbie Blue A World Series win. Rossy is dancing. Can he beat Charo and Mr. T? Don’t let them kick him off! Vote for Ross! David Ross! David Ross! David Ross! David Ross! He’ll do the 2-step and Boogie Woogie Do ballet, jitterbug and contemporary Who knew? All the dances Ross can do? Bet he’ll look real sexy in a Tu-Tu! Can he beat Charo and Mr. T? Don’t let them kick him off! Vote for Ross! David Ross! David Ross! David Ross! David Ross! Yeah, he’s dancing a little cha cha tonight Ross is such a Twinkle Toes, and you know Rizzo’s watching it Ross getting down, kickin’ his legs Then Judges feedback Ross dancin’ Ross prancin’ Watch his little rear end move now Jive and jiggin, ball change kickin’ Pop and Lockin’, you can’t stop him now David Ross! David Ross! David Ross! David Ross!
6.
When the rally starts with some titties Yeah the Cubs won’t lose the game Oh you know we’ll come back with those titties! Ooh, ooh Big and plump or pointy Artificial or man boobs You know we’ll come back with those titties win the game Ooh, ooh Those cans, oh Bustin Bongos Mosquito bites and boom booms Bazooka Bombs Ooh, my, my, my, my, my, my Ooh When the rally starts with some titties Yeah the Cubs won’t lose the game Oh you know we’ll come back with those titties! Ooh, ooh When the rally starts with some titties Yeah the Cubs won’t lose the game Oh you know we’ll come back with those titties! Ooh, ooh
7.
I’d fly around in private Jets With Tom Ricketts money I’d buy Syndergaard from the Mets With Tom Ricketts money If I was Tom, I’d own the Cubs Only front row ticket stubs What I would do with a billion bucks If I had Tom’s money Oh, I wish that I was Tom Ricketts I would be swimming in cash I wish that I was Tom Ricketts 'Cause I could buy and sell your ass. Pay Shohei Otani to wear Cubbie blue And next year get Bryce Harper too Then I’d raise prices for tickets!
8.
We had Lester and Hendricks and Jake Arrieta Rizzo and Bryant, we should have played better The Cubs lost this fall Now they’re not the champs of baseball Guess we’ll just wait till next year So I’m just watching Hot Stove 2 starters and a bullpen Wonder who is gonna close? Who’s Theo gonna bring here? Jake is gonna go get paid. Maybe we’ll get a starter In a Happ or Schwarber trade! I bet Mike Montgomery Pitches a few games He’s a number 4 or 5 Cubs need more at playoff time Theo should give Joe Maddon Players like 20-16 Then we’ll all wait till Next year And we’ll win the World Series
9.
I Saw Willson DM Khalifa While his hamstring wasn’t feeling right Willson wants to be her man Said he was her biggest fan Sure his leg was hurt but there was nothing wrong with his right hand A guy like Willson DM’s Khalifa But no Cubbie Fans Should wonder why Willson slid into her DM’s Cause he likes naked women On Mia Khalifas Porn Website
10.
01:19
The Cubs’ll come out to Morrow And they’ll give a ton of cash to Morrow A large sum Offering the mound To Morrow Better than Antonio Bastardo No home runs Cubbies took him away From LA Hopefully He’ll come out of the pen To win The Game Oh A handsome amount to Morrow Giving over 10 million to Morrow Getting paid! To Morrow! To Morrow! A contract To Morrow And now for the Cubs he’ll play
11.
Hawk’s calling White Sox games on the South Side of town, but now He won’t come to Wrigley Field cause Hawk Hates the Cubs It’s just a can of corn Can’t stand Joe West or Bud Selig Bashing the umpires, Hawk’s such a homer Hate when he says you can put it on the board yes, Oh my! He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Dumb Hawk Harrelson, Dumb Hawk Harrelson He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Oh my! He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson No one likes Hawk Harrelson I’d really hate my life if I was Steve Stone He must want to rip off his ears When Hawk says “Stretch” and yells “He Gone” Oh my! He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Dumb Hawk Harrelson, Dumb Hawk Harrelson He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Oh my! He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Says “Dagummit” when it’s not a homer Calls a broken bat single a Matt Abbatacola “Sit Back Relax and Strap it Down” he’ll say It’s the same thing every single damn day (I think the Hawk is so annoying) Shouting mercy, gotta be bleepin me Big hack no contact and can of corn Criticizing umpires, Hawk doesn’t like the call He hates the North Side and won’t come to Wrigley Hawks not welcome in the friendly confines Stay down south with your stupid phrases In the broadcast booth is where the Hawk wants to die Oh my! He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Dumb Hawk Harrelson, Dumb Hawk Harrelson He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Oh my! He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Oh my! He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Dumb Hawk Harrelson, Dumb Hawk Harrelson He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Oh my! He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Oh my! He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Dumb Hawk Harrelson, Dumb Hawk Harrelson He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson Oh my! He’s just a dumb Hawk Harrelson

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released February 8, 2017

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Danny Rockett and The Bad Teenage Moustache Chicago, Illinois

For over a decade, Bad Teenage Moustache has laid their soul bare upon the musical tables. Childish and insensitive lyrics that don't always rhyme, Unpopular social and political views, and offensive sexual content, make Bad Teenage Moustache the "Must listen to, or die" band of the epoch. ... more

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